Turbulence

I spent Mother’s Day on a flight from Raleigh, North Carolina heading to Austin, Texas.

Between Heaven and Earth

As I cruised above the clouds, my mind was pondering life and the world and who I was in it. I turned my awareness to my beingness, as flesh, spirit, and energy. Thoughts crossed my mind as I gave thanks to the universe in it’s expansiveness for supporting me as well as the tons of metal I was trapped in.

I leaned into the marvel of being trully between heaven and earth as I have imagined so many times before….yet actually being there in the physical realm was so comforting some how. Almost as if, i was home. Yes, home in the sky where I came from. I felt the acknowledgement in every cell of my body as they remembered the exact star they came from.

Looking toward the horizon where sky met clouds, I was in inquiry about what was my experiential relationship with motherhood. I thought of my relationship with my children as I thought about the fact that it was Mother’s Day and here I was without my children, or my mother. While searching and savoring this question, feeling into the feeling of motherhood and all of its many facets, challenges, joys, and sorrow….the pilot’s voice came through the speakers to advise that we would be decending to cruising altitudes making out approach to Austin and that the winds may cause a bit of turbulence.

I don’t know why it surprised me that I would be in inquiry and the exact word I was seeking would come to me from a voice coming out of a little box. But it did!

When I look back and review my maternal journey and my relationships with my children and my own mother….TURBULENCE it seems to encompass my experience in a nutshell. Yes, that’s it ups and downs, highs, lows, and rocky at times. On some occasion I had to use the oxygen mask just to breath and hold on tight in prayer as I felt I was going to plummet!

The universe always stablized the winds beneath my wings and held me.

I am sure you may be reading this and perhaps had a situation or relationship that may have been a turbulent ride for you. My invitation is to be in inquiry about where in your life has there been turbulence? and, how has the universe held you and kept you steady? or What would it look like if you were supported by the universe? The universe is all around us, in nature, the animal realm, and even in the eyes of a friend. It sees you all the time. Will you dare to take a moment to see it in everything, or notice it at all in the mundane?

Will you dare?

Letting Your Light Shine

Last weekend I took a step into my future and it was no easy task.

I attended the 2019 Christmas Showcase here in San Antonio Texas.  The two day expo was held at the Freeman Coliseum and I had signed up 4 months ago with a “sure why not” attitude.  I got caught up with my Color of Woman certification course and lost track of time.  There was a lot of procrastination and bullying from my critic of course.  

Before I knew it, the time was upon me and I scrambled for 2 weeks after returning from my graduation in Santa Cruz, California.  My critic went into overdrive and had me pinned to the walls of my body.  My stomach was in knots and crying sessions in the car had commenced.  It went as far as me sending emails to the organizer with plans to cancel the event, because I was not ready.  She reminded me that I was paid in full and a refund was not an option.

So after calling on the support of my Red Thread community, my fellow Woman of Color sisters, as well as guides, my Muse, ancestors….and oh, let’s not forget the prodding of my Beloved Harold (after finding out how much I’d invested in the event), I decided to show up anyway!

The fear was real, but the choice to show up and claim that I was ready where I was shifted something inside of me.  I realized this is what I cam 12,000 miles for.  To live my dream. To bring color and beauty to those who seek it.  To shine my light and use it to ignite the light of those whos light may only be an ember..

I not only surrendered to this happening, but became the happening.  The energy in the expo hall was amazing, the shoppers, the vendors, the atmosphere was tangible.  I steadily grounded my self in my booth and held the space I had created and those who entered felt it.  I gladly sent my light out to all who passed whether or not they spoke, looked, or purchased.  Several of my patrons admitted to feeling my energy as we connected and discussed my products and offerings.  I loved every minute of connecting with my people, while being conscious of where it felt in my body.  I can simply say “my heart was lit!”